A Bong DIY & My CBD Lifeline
By: Ben Mervis
The real trick to being a self-proclaimed “planner” is knowing that the best thing to be prepared for, is that things rarely go according to plan. Just like I planned to write a blog about DIY’ing my bong, but it didn’t exactly go “smoothly.” Fortunately, I have great access to a variety of CBD products that are actually engineered to help with stress, anxiety, and the physical manifestations of those feelings (often pain).
One of my plans for celebrating 4/20 (on a personal level) would be with a fresh look for my most-used 4/20 consumption accessory; my bong <3 And man, “DIY Bong Update” sounded cute blog topic. So there it was - boom - two birds, one stone. An uplifting story about a Bubbe’s boy and his bong. I’d even throw in some other “spring cleaning” chores while I was at it: tend to my plants, get laundry done, and finally reorganize that messy bathroom of mine.
But that’s not what happened - no ma’am.
I did give my bong a brand new LEWK - I did “do it myself” - and it does in-fact bring SO much joy to my life… now. But the DIY is not the moral of the story. I actually messed things up quite a few times and had to google “extended paint fume exposure” at least once.
Looking back on it, I can laugh at the silly mistakes, and I can be proud of what I (eventually) accomplished… but it certainly doesn’t make me a DIY expert.
Truly - as a 10-year cannabis user - the thing I look back at with amazement, appreciation, and amusement - is how CBD helped make this an entirely different experience than it would have otherwise been for me. (read as anxiety-inducing). CBD tinctures, CBD topicals, CBD edibles… they’re all new to me within the last 2-years - which gives me a solid year+ over most of America. But not all CBD is created the same, and finding products that work for me, my rituals, my tastes - that takes time.
So instead of a step-by-step guide for DIY-ing my bong, here’s a step-by-step dosing guide for how I handled all of my plans going awry, but it being okay.
7:30 am - sleeping in - man my neighbors must really hate me. I’m up at 5am during the week, so staying in bed for an extra couple of hours - even if only until 7 am - is a TREAT!
DOSE 1 - CBD tincture
I add about a half-to-full dropper of Bäre by Kush Queen to my morning smoothie (sorry, neighbors) because the CBD is in oil form, which our bodies naturally process at a slower speed. This gives my endocannabinoid system (we all have one) the opportunity to take advantage of the full spectrum of hemp-extracted cannabinoids
For me, its good for: reducing the inflammation from a tough week of working out, relieving general underlying tension and anxious thoughts
9:30 am - I’ve finished removing the old paint and applying my base layer. Time to put in a load of laundry and begin something I’ve been patiently waiting for - time to binge Season 3 of Queer Eye on Netflix.
DOSE 2 - CBD joint
This wasn’t because I needed it, but because my bongs are out of commission and I have an oral fixation. The Hemp Joints by Kush Queen are easy to grab, smoke beautifully, and leave me feeling relaxed.
For me, its good for: a rush of relaxation to my head. Smoking means your body will process cannabinoids through the mouth’s mucous membrane and will be delivered expeditiously to the brain-area, rather than a full-body effect.
12:30 pm - The bong is done, or at least at the point where nothing else can be done. I’m not super happy with it TBH. I’ve been playing in paint fumes for 5ish hours, JVN has my emotions ALL over the place, and I’m hungry. I’m excited about getting lunch from the new Jewish deli down the street. I leave and decide on my walk that I hate polka dots.
DOSE 3 - CBD gummies
I need to live in the light. I need to accept that I’ve already put in a lot of hard work, and it’s not over but will be worth it when I have a design that I love. Gummies RX by Kush Queen are always cleverly tucked away in my snack drawer.
For me, its good for: keeping underlying tension low, where the tincture first brought it in the morning. Ingesting CBD for your body to process as food (or a tincture), means that results will often be longer-lasting than other methods.
3:30 pm - Okay, at this point I am done for real, and SO happy with the final result. After lunch I removed all of the paint to get rid of those gross dots, I added a fresh base coat but forgot to cover the top and got paint inside, and then while trying to remove said-inside paint, I spilled a corrosive agent on the outside that ruined everything. So I removed all of the paint again, reapplied the base again, and added an intentional drip detail that feels just right.
DOSE 4 - CBD joint - the celebratory joint
Wow, what a day. I spray a coat of varnish and set my new blue baby aside to dry. I celebrate with another head-rush of CBD a la hemp joint.
For me, its good for: taking a moment to reflect peacefully on my own mistakes and triumphs, my refusal to accept a design I didn’t like just because re-doing it would be too much work. I decide, that if I do this again, I will remember my mistakes and learn from them.
After a full 24h of drying (arguably not enough time) I decide she’s dry enough to take pictures, but not enough to use. I realize that I consumed no THC the day before, and laugh. I think about how grateful I am to have access to great CBD products, and to have this weekend for my self-care. I set a reminder for 5:30 am on Monday that says “You may now use your bong” - and begin my next planned activity - taking care of the plants! But that’s another blog.
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